Single and Unmarried Americans As Family and Community Members
Naomi Gerstel, Ph.D.
Professor of Sociology
University of
Massachusetts
Unmarried and singles'
week celebrates the lives of many Americans. In 2010, this group included 99.6
million people -- close to half (43.6 percent) of U.S. residents 18 and older.
Over their life course, many more people will move in and out of this group.
The single and
unmarried are a diverse group: Some have not yet married but will eventually do
so. Some are divorced or widowed. And some have chosen to live their entire
lives single. Some live alone. Some cohabit with a romantic partner. 16.4
million are aged 65 and older, 11.7 million are parents. Though gays and
lesbians can now get married in six states, most of the couples living in the
591,300 same-sex households reported to the census are unmarried.
All too often, single
and unmarried Americans are ignored when it comes to discussing family issues,
especially if they do not have children. Work-family issues are typically
thought to be irrelevant to them. The unmarried are typically portrayed as unencumbered
by family obligations, or even as self-centered individuals who do not help out
in the community the way married couples do. But the facts reveal quite a
different story.
·
Adult unmarried children are more likely to
provide practical assistance to their parents than their married siblings. It
is unmarried women who are mostly likely to assist their mothers and fathers.
While 68 percent of married women give help to their parents, 84 percent of the
never married provide such care. And while just 38 percent of married men help
out their parents, 67 percent of never married men do.
·
At all educational and income levels,
unmarried individuals not only have more friends than their married
counterparts but give these friends more care, both practical and emotional.
They also visit with their neighbors and help them out more than the married.
·
The unmarried spend more time helping out
their siblings than the married, often playing important roles in the lives of
their brothers and sisters as well as their nieces and nephews. And unmarried
individuals account for three out of every ten grandparents who are the primary
care-givers for their grandchildren.
·
Research refutes the myth that unmarried
males are especially disconnected from family ties. Married women talk on the
phone to their parents and siblings less often than those who never got
married, or who left or lost a husband. But the difference in phone talk is
especially dramatic for men. While many husbands rely on wives to call their
relatives, men without wives make the connection themselves.
·
Married people volunteer more than
unmarried, in part because they volunteer in activities their children are
involved in and in part because they volunteer more for religious groups. But
more than 20 percent of unmarried Americans do volunteer, and in 2005 their
estimated volunteer hours came to nearly 900 million hours of service. The top
activities were mentoring, teaching, and coaching other people's children,
fundraising for charities, and distributing or serving food. It's also
worth remembering that about one-third of the firefighters who died serving
their community on 9/11 were unmarried.
·
In important ways, the unmarried are more
likely than the married to be politically engaged: Comparing women with
the same level of education,never-married are more likely than wives to
sign petitions and participate in political gatherings.
